As parlor tricks go, the smoke ring is about as good as it gets. “Blowing smoke rings is a rite of passage,” says George Brightman, Cigar afficianado, “You get a great feeling of satisfaction once you’ve mastered it.”

Step 1: Choose your smoke
You'll be needing a man-size smoke as smog density is key. “You need a big mouthful of smoke,” explains Brightman, “and you’re only going to get it from the good stuff.” Continuing in the Bill Clinton vein, don’t inhale—just light up and suck a large dollop of smoke into your mouth. Resist the urge to draw the smoke into your lungs, or the trick won’t work.

Step 2: Blow it out your hole
Purse your lips as if you’re about to say the letter o (as in “Oh, whoa, does Joe Piscopo blow”). Here’s the key: Quickly push the smoke out with the back of your tongue, says Brightman, as you contract your throat muscles to exhale a tiny puff of air. The overall experience should feel like you’re trying to swallow a walnut whole.

Step 3: Get tricky
Once you’ve got the mechanics down (prepare to devote a lot of time to practicing), several tricks easily follow. By varying the amount of space between your lips, you can change the size of the rings. Flex your throat muscles rapidly and you’ll shoot the rings out in rapid-fire bursts. Combine the two techniques and you can execute what Brightman calls “the coolest trick in my book: blowing a big ring and shooting a smaller one through it.” Our favorite trick is incinerating Tokyo with jets of flame shot from our pie holes…but that’ll have to wait for another month